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Apologizing Well

Apologizing has become somewhat of a lost art, don't you think?  And to a large degree it's understandable because no one likes to admit failure - it's humiliating and when done well, there's no room for pride to stick around.  Which is why it's so hard to do!  Yet.....you know this as well as I do...apologizing well is one of the most powerful gestures we could ever show another human being. 

So here's five quick thoughts on how to do it well.

1.  Acknowledge your failure.

"I have failed you.  I've let you down.  I have done wrong."

2.  Acknowledge the impact of the failure.

"I have failed you....and as a result, I know I've caused you a lot of pain....I've put you in a very precarious position.....I have hurt you."

What NOT to say: "I'm sorry you were offended by what I did."  NO. That sucks.  Take responsibility.

3.  Tell them you're sorry.

"I've failed you....and I know it has caused you a lot of pain....and I just want you to know that I am truly sorry."

4.  Commit to change.

"....and I'll do whatever I can to make sure that never happens again."

5.  Shut the #*($&! up.

This is where we get into trouble.  Because the tendency is to add on:

"I'm sorry....it's just that..."

"I'm sorry....but I didn't mean it!"

"I'm sorry...it's just that you..."

No.  Don't make excuses.  Don't complicate it.  Don't qualify it. 

What Every Good Leader Knows

Been reading Richard Rohr's latest book, The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See. It's truly been one of the most soul-refreshing books I've read in a while. 

Rohr offers some great leadership reminders in chapter 21: "What Every Good Leader Knows".  There are too many for me to share, but here are a few that I've really resonated with. 

Good leaders are:

• Seers of alternatives.

• Move forward by influencing events and inspiring people more than by ordering or demanding.

• Learn to study, discern, and search together with their people for solutions.
  

• Know that total dilemmas are very few.  We create many dilemmas because we are internally stuck, attached, fearful, overidentified with our position, needy of winning the case, or unable to entertain even the partial truth that the other opinion might be offering. 

• Search for the middle ground where the most people can find meaning; they work for win/win situations. (This is hard to do if you assume you are the higher, the more responsible, the in-charge, the senior, the more competent - or once you have made a harsh judgment about the other.)

• Know that the rule of law and obedience can inform you only about what is illegal or immoral; it cannot itself lead you to God, truth, goodness, or beauty. (Romans 3:20 and 7:7)

• Know that when done well, compromise and consensus-seeking is not a way of abdicating essential values, but very often a way of seeking - and finding - other values, especially community-building, along with giving more people a personal investment in the outcome.

• Know that wisdom is "the art of the possible."  The key question is no longer "How can I problem-solve now, and get this off my plate?"  It is "How can this situation achieve good for the largest number and for the next generations?"

• Increase both freedom and ownership among the group - not just subservience, which will ultimately sabotage the work anyway.

• Let people know the why of a decision, and show how that is consistent with the group's values.

Some great thoughts & reminders. 

Leaders - which ones resonate with you the most?

Ladies and Gentlemen....

Catalyst has been crankin' leadership inspiration and innovation for ten years. 

Ten years. 

Dang.  And a lot of lives have been impacted because of it.  Including mine.  As a matter of fact, it was at the very first Catalyst Conference that my world was turned upside down as a young leader who was longing for something new and different.  It jacked me up BAD.  And I'll never forget sitting in the balcony at Northpoint crying my eyes out....knowing that I would never be the same.

Catalyst 2010 is coming up in five months - October 6-8 in Atlanta.  If you've never been, you need to go. 

Two speakers that I'm proud to announce for this year's lineup are two of my favorite guys - Mike Foster & Jud Wilhite.  

Those are two reasons in and of themselves to get to Catalyst in October.  Seriously.  I love Mike and Jud's hearts. God's hand is on them.

If you're not familiar with their movement called People Of The Second Chance, go check it out and catch the beautiful spirit and heart behind it. 

The new Catalyst website is now live.  Go check it out.  Oh.....and they are giving away an iPad every week between now and Catalyst.  Dang.  I hope I win one.  (Do I quality Brad?)

Book Recommendations: CHANGE

 
Was asked in my Exponential session for a few book recommendations on the topic of church and organizational change. I've created an Amazon a-store where you can browse and purchase any of my recommendations.

LINK

Worship Leader Essentials

Two "essentials" that I think are hugely important in the lives of those who lead worship at The Orchard:

AUTHENTICITY & DEPTH.

Authenticity.  Being real and willing to lead out of their own, personal journey.  Not afraid to be honest and transparent about their struggles, pain, and brokenness.  The same on stage as they are in every day life and conversation (have you ever heard a worship leader who stands up and talks to an audience in a totally different voice than they normally talk in?)  Someone who others can look to and say to themselves, "I get that person...they're not all that different from me." 

Depth.  If the worship leader has an empty soul.....then the only thing they'll really have to offer is authenticity and talent....and neither of those are enough as far as I'm concerned.  I want worship leaders who have taken the time to LISTEN...and get quiet.  Who make it a priority to wrestle through the scriptures and songs they'll be leading people through.  Leaders whose hearts are freshly inspired by the beauty and goodness of God....and who understand that a huge part of what they do in leading worship is sharing that beauty and goodness with others.

I suppose those are pretty important essentials for all of us as followers of Jesus.  But they're especially important to me when it comes to those who are standing on stage leading our community into worship each weekend.

Worship Leaders & Pastors - I'd love to hear from you.  What "essentials" are at the top of your list?

UNLEASH 2010

Pastors....church leaders - it doesn't take very long to slip into "comfort" mode, does it?  Believe me, I know how it is.  If we're not careful, we get pulled too much into the day to day "stuff" and before we know it, our thinking and dreaming begins to decline....we gradually slip into maintenance mode.....and next thing we know, our focus has become more about micromanaging and maintaining than it has about the things that really matter most.

The solution?  Well for me, one of the things that always seems to help me regain focus and vision is getting AWAY from the familiar and getting around people who are thinking....dreaming....and doing things that are bigger (and different) than what I'm doing.

So here's an opportunity to do that.  Unleash.   

It's hosted by my friend Perry Noble and his team at NewSpring Church.  (If you don't know much about  NewSpring or their story, you need to.  It's evident God's hand is on NewSpring.  He's blessing it and people's lives are being changed.)

Unleash is NewSpring's dream of sharing what they're learning on their journey with fellow pastors & church leaders across America.  And pastors, listen...this isn't about you or your church becoming a "NewSpring" clone.  This is about seeing first hand how a local church is doing an incredible job of being who God has called them to be for the people God has best positioned them to reach.  And seeing that done really well....is worth a trip - especially if you and your team need to be yanked out of your comfort zones and given a fresh dose of inspiration and encouragement. 

Here's the link.  Check it out.  It's happening on March 4th, 2010 in Andersen, South Carolina. (BTW....it's only $59/person.)

Tough Times = Breeding Ground for Innovation

No one enjoys having a lack of resources.  Yet, it's often times that lack that ends up pushing us into greater avenues of creativity and innovation.  If we allow it to.

I remember when we had absolutely NO discretionary money or resources to do anything other than pay our bills (barely) and sometimes our staff. The bottom line was that if we wanted to do something, we pretty much had to pay for it out of our own pockets (we still do sometimes) or figure out some other creative way to get it done.  (Side note, it's amazing how differently we think about spending when it comes out of our own pockets isn't it?) 

In many regards, that was a very tough and draining season.  Yet at the same time....it was also a season where I watched the innovative muscles of our team stretch and grow in some amazing ways.  And to a large degree, I would credit those days as being a huge factor in what's helped us sustain a culture of innovation at The Orchard today.

So here's a question/comment that's been on my mind a lot lately...

Leaders, how are we taking advantage of not having "enough" right now? 

Which direction is your "lack" pushing you these days?  Deeper into MENTAL LACK?  Or.....deeper into the world of creativity & innovation?  

Let's make sure we aren't allowing our current situation to move us into a "poverty" or "lacking" mentality.  Instead, let's keep the bar raised and expectations high.  Let's continue casting vision and articulating what could be - even if the resources don't yet exist.  And instead of saying "NO" - what if we said things like, "If you can figure out a way to make it happen, go for it!"  Or BETTER YET....what if we actually challenged and empowered our teams to find ways to make it happen!  Seriously, you'll be surprised at the innovation that will surface. 

I suck at math, but I'm in the mood to create a formula, so I leave you with this:

LACK OF RESOURCES + HIGH EXPECTATIONS + EMPOWERED TEAM = CRAZY BREEDING GROUND FOR INNOVATION  (i.e. figuring out ways to get things done in a completely different way than before)

Leaders, I'd love to hear how you're intentionally fostering an innovative environment in your organization.

Exciting Announcement!

Exciting Announcement! from scotthodge on Vimeo.

I'm calling it SHOCKTOBER.

Ok, so there are around 2.4 billion things that I'm excited about right now.  And I seriously feel like I need to pinch myself just to make sure this is all real.  Here's a taste.

STORY - It happens next week!  Can't wait.  Around 1,700 pastors, communicators, church leaders, writers, speakers, etc will converge for two days to learn and be inspired by an amazing line up of storytellers -   people like Dave Gibbons, Ed Young, Donald Miller, Nancy Beach, Mike Foster, Stacy Spencer, Chris Seay, and others.  The first day happens on Wednesday, October 28th at the beautiful Paramount Theater in downtown Aurora.  The next day will be workshops (sold out!) happening at The Orchard.  Honored to host and be a part of STORY!

CULTIVATE - Seriously, Chicagoland is the place to be in October.  Cultivate is a highly interactive, conversational, collaborative un-conference that's all about church communication.  It's happening the day before STORY.  And the lineup of facilitators is just sick.  Wow.

DAVE GIBBONS - We are honored to have Dave speak at The Orchard's gatherings the weekend following STORY.  Not only is Dave a good friend, but he's someone God has used to impact my life in some pretty significant ways.  I'm thrilled that our church community gets to hear and learn from him!

THE NEW & IMPROVED....ORCHARD - The Orchard has had an extreme makeover!  Through the amazing "pro bono" generosity of fellow Orchard tribal members, Dawn & Keith Baldwin (Aspire One), we have a new logo and amazzzing new website that will go live later THIS WEEK.  I'll talk more about this in a later post...  STAY TUNED!

LOVE.SERVE.GIVE. - It's The Orchard's GLOCAL outreach opportunities this winter.  More about this later as well... But just know that we are going to have some amazing opportunities to bring beauty and hope to people locally in our city and globally in places like Uganda, Thailand, and El Salvador.  

ORCHARD ART INITIATIVE - Too much to type, but The Orchard is turning into an art gallery starting this month.  Our campus will be filled with art from local artists.  Huge dream come true, but only the beginning...

Ok, there's more, but I my fingers hurt and I need to study.  OUT.

August!

What the heck happened to summer!?  Holy smokes...  It's August.  But that's ok because this is going to be a great month!  Here's a few things coming up that I'm very, very excited about!

First....there's the Echo Conference.  It's this week in Dallas.  Mike Jones and I are headed there tomorrow.  And not only am I excited to be a part of the media/church/tech panel with my friends Bobby Gruenewald, Carlos Whittaker, and Cynthia Ware but I'm also look forward to hearing & learning from people like Phil Visher, Mark Steele, Phil Cooke, and Ben Arment! 

 

Then next week, I'll be heading to Orlando where I'll be helping host the Influence Conference!  Speakers will include: Mark Batterson, Reggie Joiner, Beth Moore, Keith Craft, and Ed Young.  We are also going to be having post-session Q&A's that you can be a part of.  More on that later...

After Influence, a couple days with the family at Disney World....and then........the thing that I'm MOST EXCITED ABOUT.........

The Orchard's annual BBQ & BAPTISM happening on Sunday, August 9th!

And here's a taste of what that's all about in case you missed it a couple weeks ago...

2008 Orchard Baptism Video from The Orchard on Vimeo.

Want to sign up to be baptized?  Go here!

It's going to be a great August!