I spent a good part of my day yesterday going through the book cases in my dad's office. He was an avid reader - reading probably at least a book a week (sometimes two or three). He was well read too - reading everything from business (Jim Collins, etc...) to devotionals (Tozer, Murray, etc...) to emerging church issues (McLaren, Sweet, etc...).
It was a tough afternoon. I sat in his chair and thumbed through a few pages from some legal pads that he had sitting on his desk. He wrote a lot of notes...about whatever was on his mind.
His desk chair was this old leather chair that squeaked every time he moved around in it. I used to yell from my office, "Oil that thing, will ya?!" and he would yell something funny back to me.
As we finally prepare to make permanent changes to his office, I sat in that chair today and it squeaked and squeaked, but oddly enough, it sounded different. It's as though that chair knows that I'm not him and so thereby refuses to let out the squeaks that I'm used to hearing. I miss those squeaks.
Today (Tuesday) is six months since his sudden death. It's hard to believe... Sometimes it feels like it's been years, other times it feels like yesterday that him and I were grabbing a quick lunch at the Greek cafe down the street.
They say the six month mark is hard. I think they're right. But just as our family pulled together these first five months, we'll continue to pull together these next six and the six after those and the next...
scott, i can't imagine what that's like. you and your family have been through so much over these past six months or so - you have been in our prayers down here in houston. it's good to hear your resolution to move forward with you family - thanks for being an encouragement to me today.
Posted by: bill | April 12, 2005 at 08:32 AM
I feel for you Scott and the pain you have to deal with. It really never gets easier to live life without that person in your life but you do stop dwelling on it and live the life you know they would want you to live. Your father would be so proud of you Scott!
Posted by: Rachel | April 12, 2005 at 08:56 AM
Scott, just want you to know how much edwinna and I love you and i'm sorry what you have to go through right now. Larry was a leader (aka. leaders are readers), and so are you! Love ya brother Hodge
Posted by: jamey | April 12, 2005 at 08:58 AM
Just imagine all your faithful fans around the country reading your blog today and thinking and praying for you. It's like a country-wide hug! You are so loved and we hope that you feel supported and bouyed by our prayers.
Posted by: Betsy | April 12, 2005 at 10:59 AM
Scott
You are one of the bravest people I know. You have overcome so much in the past six months - I know your dad is beaming up there right now with all of the pride he has for you. Dealing with your dads death will never be easy - but each and every day will get easier. I thank God for putting me in this place - you are a great guy and a good friend. Terri
Posted by: terri | April 13, 2005 at 09:20 AM
What a great picture. You can see his kindness and sweetness in his face. There isnt a day that goes by where words from one of his sermons or just personal conversation with him doesnt go through my head. Thanks for sharing this, Scott.
Posted by: Colleen | April 13, 2005 at 06:33 PM
that was a very moving post Scott. I almost felt the emotion of what you were feeling just by the way you worded things. pretty neat. I hope you find comfort in knowing that your dad's in heaven having a blast and is in total peace. And you have many friends around you for support!
Posted by: heath | April 15, 2005 at 01:51 PM